The top 10 most vacuous celebrities.

Did anyone see that documentary ‘Starsuckers’ on More4? Blimey it was good. One and a half hours on the process of manipulating the public via celebrity to buy stuff we don’t need. Here’s my list of the top ten most pointless celebrities and the vacuous reasons they push important news off the front page.

1 – Kim Kardashian – who IS this person? Famous for; not being able to bend down in a tight dress, having siblings with names also beginning with ‘K’, some sort of bitchy Twitter war with Demi Moore, and wearing bikinis in Miami. A lot.

2 – Lindsay Lohan – car crash err ‘actress’. Natural habitat; within range of a pap’s lens staggering around and falling on large cacti somewhere in LA. Once dated a girl. Shock horror.

3 – Kerry Katona – wasn’t she once in a band or something? Anyway, that being the ‘height’ of her career, she can now be seen having her nails done, smiling like a loon,  and losing weight as an enthralled nation watches spellbound.

4 – Katie Price – a one woman LookAtMe-a-thon.  I have a strange fascination with this one. Somehow the equestrian thing doesn’t quite work for me though. Like it dilutes her pointlessness with something real…or something.

5 – Cheryl Cole – famous for her fluctuating weight reflecting her precarious states of mind. Her ring finger is fast becoming more famous than her though. Recently photographed together with her ring finger leaving recording studios in LA. Oh god does that mean she’s going to release an album? Please no.

6 – Paris Hilton – so vacuous I can’t think of a valid reason to write more about her.

7 – Liz Hurley – what does this woman actually do, apart from get airbrushed and talk posh? Oh yes, that’s right, she once stood next to that bloke out of Four Weddings in a dress held together by safety pins. Talk about right place, right time.

8 – Victoria Beckham – famous for being thinner than Cheryl Cole at all times, eating 5 nuts a day, and walking through airports without her husband.

9 – Suri Cruise – stop the press! Four year old offspring of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes goes shopping wearing bunny ears! Excuse me but if I used the most powerful microscope in history I still couldn’t locate my interest in this child’s activities.

10 – Coleen Rooney – four words. Marry. The. Right. Bloke.


One comment on “The top 10 most vacuous celebrities.”

  1. Haha: “so vacuous I can’t think of a valid reason to write more about her.”

    Love it. Great post.

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