Counting calories the hard way

Anyone ever kept a food diary? I’ve just started one to see if I can shift a very elusive half a stone. I’m writing everything down, even the tiny cubelettes of cheese you sneak in thinking they don’t count, when in actual fact they add 1000 calories to your daily intake and you just want to drive to the local chipshop in search of solace.

What I want to know, as I sit here obsessing about when I can feed myself next, is how do these celebrities survive on two olives and an algae shake a day, or whatever it is they eat? Mind you if I was being paid massive wads for looking gorgeous on red carpets and doing little bits of acting every now and again, I’d keep it shut and carry on slurping the skinny smoothies.  As it is, no-one pays me to look gorgeous so what am I worrying about eh? A few extra ripply bits on my thighs aren’t going to make the front cover of Skinny Celeb Monthly or Tiny Thighs Weekly are they? Stop the press! Shock horror as cellulite appears on Kath’s knees! Hold the front page! Kath spotted in street eating a large cheese and onion pasty! Quick, pass me that curry menu.

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